Well-being | 1.10.2026
Mental load is an invisible but very real psychological burden: the constant responsibility for all aspects of family life can lead to stress, exhaustion and even burnout. Psychotherapist Chow Ling Prager explains why mothers are particularly affected – and gives tips on how to practise more self-care.
It refers to the mental burden that comes with organising and managing everyday life – usually involving family life. For example, when a mother keeps a mental diary of all upcoming commitments – the daughter’s piano lesson, the son’s follow-up dentist appointment and the shopping for dinner. When she is the first point of contact for grandparents (child’s birthday!), neighbours (laundry schedule!) and the parents of friends. She feels responsible for searching for a holiday rental and spends time thinking of everything that still needs doing before departure. She provides emotional support, offers encouragement and takes criticism on the chin.
The mental load stems directly from the burden of responsibility and is further reinforced if the same person is also carrying out these largely invisible tasks.
No. But particularly in cases where the responsibility is not spread across multiple shoulders, the heavy burden on the psyche can turn into “mental overload” and lead to health problems. An additional burden is the fact that the people who bear no responsibility often fail to perceive the mental load as a load. If this situation persists for a long period without adequate breaks, stress levels rise. This can lead to burnout, burn-on, depression, anxiety and other mental disorders.
“An additional burden is the fact that the people who bear no responsibility often fail to perceive the mental load as a load.”
Obvious symptoms include:
If you struggle to prioritise and delegate tasks, and constantly feel overwhelmed, it is highly likely that you have a problem.
Yes, because it is often difficult to make an objective assessment of one’s own stress levels and the effects on one’s own mental health. As human beings, we become accustomed to having a lot on our plate and it feels normal to be subjected to significant levels of stress in everyday life.
It is worth stressing that anybody can be affected, regardless of gender, profession or marital status. However, single parents or parents with limited social support are often under significant stress. And, generally speaking, it is mothers rather than fathers, because they usually take on more responsibility within the household, assume more caring duties and look after the emotional needs of the family. Put simply, she is the one who pulls the strings, organises and plans. The partner may help, but does not share the mental labour.
“Anybody can be affected by mental load, regardless of gender, profession or marital status.”
There are two personality traits that increase the impact of mental load: perfectionism, because it saps a lot of time and energy. And neuroticism, i.e. emotional vulnerability, because people with this trait experience worries and fears more intensely than others.
Society is still influenced by gender-specific role models and expectations, so it is the mothers rather than the fathers who carry the responsibility of organising family life and looking after the children. As a result, studies show that women are, in fact, more frequently affected by mental load, even when their partners take on half the family workload.
“Social role models contribute to the fact that women are more frequently affected by mental load than men.”
When it comes to household chores, men tend to regard their tasks as not that important. As a result, they are likely to be less burdened by their responsibilities than women. However, if they do feel the strain, they suppress their emotions. Outwardly, they just appear untroubled, and they miss the chance to seek help. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to speak up. For them, the issue is more front-of-mind.
Yes, absolutely. In the workplace, just as in family life, there are countless day-to-day tasks that need to be organised, coordinated and completed. But again, the responsibility and mental effort required in the workplace goes unnoticed by many people. Indeed, in a professional context, it is more common to talk of mental or cognitive stress – the term “mental load” is geared more towards the home environment.
It depends on the duration, type and severity of the mental load, and on the personal coping strategies being used. As a general rule, external help is necessary if the mental load is having a significant impact on your life; for example, if it is causing you to have difficulty performing everyday tasks, suffer relationship problems or experience a decline in your job performance. Or if there are noticeable symptoms of stress such as sleep disturbance or anxiety. Or as soon as you feel that the mental load is taking a physical toll; for example, causing a lack of energy, chronic pain, digestive problems or hypersensitivity.
You can consult specialist psychologists and therapists privately. The parent counselling service or parent emergency hotline are also possible ports of call.
You will find further information and specific help on these websites:
Be self-critical with respect to your values and beliefs. You may be asking too much of yourself and others. Say goodbye to perfectionism!
Differentiate between important and less important tasks – and don’t waste energy on things that clearly aren’t a priority.
Set boundaries as well as priorities: with a clear conscience, say “no” to tasks that are too demanding for you.
Speak up and say it as it is: you are finding the mental load – organising the everyday routine – a burden. Do this without assigning blame.
This is also part of relationship building: discuss together how you can spread the invisible load more fairly. Don’t just distribute tasks; distribute responsibility as well.
Support your heath in a holistic and targeted way: with Pulse supplementary outpatient insurance from KPT, you can receive up to 600 francs per year towards gym memberships, fitness classes, wellbeing and sports activities.
“Anybody can be affected by mental load, regardless of gender, profession or marital status.”
Chow Ling Prager is a psychotherapist and coach at WePractice in Zurich. She has been helping people manage stress since 2009.
Write down what you want to do and when – in a mental load journal, for example. And make sure you stick to your plan.
Yoga, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation and exercises to promote mindfulness are proven methods for combating stress. Taking a bath can also work wonders.
Take time out to do something that brings you joy. Recharge your batteries in nature, follow a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep.
It is important to make time for conscious relaxation and doing nothing, in order to clear your head and increase your resilience.
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